Quack Grass

I fought for years to keep what is killing me; why would I let it go? If it'll kill me to let it go, why would I let it go? Why would I just let go of such a big part of my life? But, blessed and lucky that I am, God puts thoughts into my mind and this time the thoughts are sticking. Alcohol is literally killing me. It is ruining my health, my sense of self, my adventurous side, my relationships, my confidence, my brain capacity, my ability to live my best life.

I recently read an article about a weed called Quack Grass, which some gardeners and farmers call "the worst menace" to their crops and gardens. Quack Grass has an underground system of roots called rhizomes that continuously grow below the dirt surface. The rhizomes release chemicals into the soil that inhibit the growth of other plants, thereby effectively killing everything around it and taking over large areas. The only way to remove the weed is by pulling out the underground root system in its entirety.

I never wanted to let it go, but now I do. It has taken over my life like weeds overtaking a beautiful flower garden. Where once there was a vibrant and happy soul, now there is a dry, dull, lifeless shadow of my former self. I've been overtaken by this weed called alcohol. It took my water, my sun, my nourishment. It's left me completely unable to flourish and grow. So I am the dying flower and alcohol is my Quack Grass.

Sometimes we have to let go of what is killing us, even if it's killing us to let go.