In a Good Lil Groove... I think (93 Days)

93 days! I made sporadic mental notes to really celebrate my 90 days of sobriety. Buy flowers! Take myself out to eat at an expensive restaurant! Buy some new clothes! Go get a lemonade from that deli I love! Tell everyone who will listen! Scream from the mountaintops!

I did none of those things.

I really can go days without thinking about alcohol, so when this number crept up in my busy life, I kept reminding myself to celebrate it and never did. I didn't even tell my husband, who wants me sober more than any other person on this planet. It's just something that periodically floats in and out of my brain. It doesn't stay and simmer. I don't think about what day I'm on or the last time I had alcohol. I get little pangs/reminders here and there... but they are not constant and a small glass of juice or sparkling water will remove it instantly.

To those who are far beyond where I am in recovery, I'm curious: is this nonchalant way of thinking dangerous? Should I be far more concerned every day that I'm at 90, 91, 92, 105, 167, 2,690 days sober? It's not on my mind all the time. Something has to compel my brain to think about it - like an alcohol commercial or an invite to dinner with the girls. These things don't happen constantly, since I don't watch live TV and my friends are as busy as I am. The habit of pouring two or three sparkling waters for myself every evening seems very normal and appropriate. So am I being too casual, too unconcerned about my very big alcohol problem? Is this natural progression or is my indifference an issue?

-Penny

P.S. As a reminder to myself, here are the numbers for 90 days of sobriety, based on the five drinks nightly I was consuming prior to 7/16/18:

Money no longer spent on alcohol: $500+
Calories no longer spent on alcohol: 40,000+